The Things They Don't Tell You About Pregnancy and Parenthood

I'm sure when you were pregnant everyone had a horror story about their horrific pregnancy or birth. However there are many things noone tells you about pregnancy or parenthood. Below are the things I was not aware of in both pregnancy and parenthood.

Pregnancy:

- You will start to judge your partner differently because they are not just your partner they are now the father of your child, so you expect so much more from them! You will also probably resent them because their body is not changing, they are not having to watch what they eat and they get to sleep the whole night feeling comfortable!!
- You will argue with your partner about everything baby related because you both have different views/opinions. You will start thinking 'maybe we aren't that compatible after all!' For example, baby names. You will like one name and your partner won't. You will then start thinking they are just doing it to annoy you!! You will eventually agree on a name though, you may just have to compromise.
- However you will feel closer to them because you now have a child that will bond you together for life, so you begin day dreaming about your perfect little family!
- SPD and other pregnancy related problems! I had never even heard of this until I went to the doctors with a pain in my lower back that was worse when I sat/laid/stood in certain positions. Now I know of it, everyone seems to have had it! Why did they not worn me?!
- People will always put you down on your choices. I followed all guidelines throughout my pregnancy in relation to foods to avoid etc. Everyone would constantly say, "oh for goodness sake, they never told my Nan that when she was pregnant and my Mum is still here!" "They change the guidelines all the time!" BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!!
- Pregnancy becomes your new identity! No-one asks you how you are, its always how are you and the bump/baby. People will also feel it is now acceptable to touch your tummy when they would never have done that before!! It is one of my pet peeves. People will also treat you as if you have a disability! I am pregnant, not incapable.
- You will have the most horrible and upsetting dreams!! Apparently it is very common and you will dream of your biggest fears. There were many of nights James had to wake me because I was crying and shouting in my sleep!
- People who have NEVER bothered with you, or haven't in a while, will crawl out of the woodwork and want to be involved and want to tell you what you should or shouldn't do! Go away, I have all the people I need, I do not need anyone else!!
- No matter how scared you are of the labour, you have to go through with it!!

35 + 5 weeks pregnant

Parenthood:

- Again you will resent your partner as they haven't had to give up their job, their identity, their sleep etc. Even though you don't mind and you knew what you were giving up, you still resent their practically normal life!!
-  Time flies by. Yes everyone tells you "enjoy them whilst their young - they grow so quick" but you wake up in the morning but after feeds, winding and nappy changes, it's bedtime again!! So don't think what will I do with all my time once the baby is here. They answer that question for you!
- There is such a huge pressure for new Mums to breastfeed. That was my every intention but Scarlett did not take to it and did not feed for the first 12 hours (after much trying!) and we ended up in A&E the day she was born as she had low blood glucose levels! It was there the nurse suggested formula milk. I still to this day, 8 weeks later, feel bad about not being able to breast feed her!
- People will soon forget about you and all their attention will be on the new baby! They won't ask to see you, they will ask to see your baby.
- You will lose friends (well supposed friends) as you do not have the time to see them all the time like you used to.
- Everyone has different methods of parenting and will probably comment on the way you are doing it or will compare your baby to theirs! This makes it very hard to be proud of your baby, because their baby did that too!
- The weight does not fall off of everyone after having a baby and the stretchmarks do not disappear. I am really struggling to lose my baby weight and often get comments such as "are you pregnant again?" or "did you buy that dress when you were pregnant!"
- People will ask you, "is it a girl or a boy?" when it is pretty obvious based on the pink hat she is wearing and the pink blanket she is wrapped in!!

Scarlett Jane, born 02/03/2014 at 7:08am weighing 7lb 10oz

However everyone tells you, "becoming a parent is the most amazing thing ever!" "you do not know what love is until you have a child!" and believe me it is true!